Bob Johnson here enjoys long afternoons on the patio, stalking pigeons and snuggling with dogs. His ecumenical approach to interspecies relations is truly inspiring.

I know – woah. There is obviously some major diabolism at play here. I did my best for him, but sometimes you just have to know when to walk away.

It knew my name.

When I found this black cat operating under cover of darkness, I knew there was devilry at work. I sprinkled him with sewer water and he hissed, so rest assured I did the right thing.

Now here’s a real success story. Thanks to my timely intervention, this afflicted kitty ended a tawdry life of sidewalk pornography and now focuses his energies on late-night choir practise.