Goat kids are even wilier than their fully-grown peers, presumably because the magick is more concentrated in their compact bodies. This young ruffian was clearly angling for my ring of office, hoping to gain the power of flight. I quickly withdrew, turning my attention to his parents — who proved highly convertible. I can only hope they will impress the faith upon their offspring. The force is distressingly strong in this one.

I met this alpaca on a recent jaunt to the CNE and was heartened to discover that these gentle Andean beasts take to ministry like ducks to water. This newly-shorn specimen has vowed to bring the good news back to all the exotic farm creatures he could find. Watch out, Emus, the day of reckoning will soon be upon you.

More pics after the jump. (more…)

Reader submission! Dearly Beloved, the HTA assembly has clearly been blessed by the attentions of travelling minister Caitlin, who’s just back from a mission to the wilds of Cuba. She was instrumental in the successful conversion of a baby goat, seen here taking his first ever communion. As our illustrious founder was often fond of saying, “Get ‘em while they’re young.”

Donkeys are rightly known for being stubborn. This one resisted my every attempt to minister to him and only allowed this brief touch after a half-hour discussion on the power of faith. I’m pretty sure he reverted to his old ways nearly immediately after we left. Still, we must persevere. Far Enough Farm, Toronto Islands.

Budding evangelists are warned to approach goats with caution. They are the Devil’s servants and will attempt to eat any insignias of office you may be carrying because they believe that this will make them invisible. They are fundamentally simple creatures however, and can be subdued with mild petting and a little hay. If they start talking backwards though, run for your life. Far Enough Farm, Toronto Islands.

The Royal Agricultural Winter Fair is held in Toronto every November and it is the premier destination for local barnyard evangelists. This white goat was cured of fleas due to my loving ministrations.

Riverdale Farm in Cabbagetown is a regular stop on my mission tours. Here I am seen comforting a beautiful cow, who later saved three men from a fire.